So far so good

It has been a while since I have blogged.  Which is kind of good because it means that I will actually have stuff to write about.  Last time I wrote it was about my disaster of Master Cal getting suspended.  He actually got suspended twice within a week and a bit.  So that was my shit start to the year and it has actually gotten better for once.

I have found an Occupational Therapist for him and OMG she is an angel.  She is one of the most brilliant people that I have met and I'm not sure how she gets him to do EVERYTHING in his session but she does.  Finally we have found something that resembles a little miracle.  His pencil skills are starting to get better and he isn't getting as frustrated.

I had his parent teacher interview over the phone at the end of last term to.  I am so far wanting to put in a request for him to have the same teacher next year.  I have on my hands a teacher who gets my kid.  She has dealt for a long time with children with disabilities and throughout our whole conversation she didn't say one bad thing about my son.  Totally awesome feeling considering all I heard last year is "he's just being a naughty little kid".

Also this Easter break we went up to Bundy for a few days to catch up with friends and family we have up there.  I was half tempted not to come home it was so nice and peaceful up there.  I was so worried about how Callum especially was going to react because it was totally out of routine and it was our first family holiday anywhere.  We had a fantastic week and for sure will be planning on going away more.  I started out more anxious than all of us but started to chill out once we were settled in our "holiday house".

So he was back at school today and his teacher told me this afternoon he had an awesome day so here is to plenty more where they came from!!!

Time for change

Grab your popcorn and a comfy seat because this is going to be a bit of a long one.  I haven't written a blog for a while so we have some catching up to do.  So we all know about Callum and the ins and outs of what I went through last year.  We are starting a repeat. It wasn't as bad until yesterday but still it is going to be a total repeat of last year.

He is now in year 2 and had a fantastic start to the year.  It couldn't have been better.  Something over the last few days has happened.  I'm not sure what and I'm not sure why but I now have a 7 year old home suspended from school.  He has no idea why he isn't allowed back at school and was quite upset when I told him he couldn't go.  Yet apparently he knows fully what is expected of him at school.  This is going to be a bit of a rant so if you don't want to read me bitching stop now.....

Tuesday I got a phone call.  He had walked out of the classroom and locked himself in the boys toilets.  Noone knew why and he wouldn't speak to anyone.  So he was brought home.  Later that evening he finally after many hours of me asking the same thing over and over again he told me.  He was having trouble writing his letters and was upset he couldn't do it so he walked out and tried to hide (this is his coping mechanism and now I really wish it was just back to hiding under the desk like he used to).  He was really upset.  He needs more work with his fine motor skills so I am currently trying to get him in to see an Occupational Therapist.

Yesterday I get a phone call.  All I got simply was can you come up and get him now.  Not saying what he had done or if he was ok.  Hubby was already near the school so he went and got him.  Please take note here that any form of work that involves fine motor skills (eg writing and drawing) can be a trigger for him to start acting out.  His school knows this.  So Pat brings him home and informs me that he had been suspended.  He raised his fist at a teacher aide and the deputy principal (didn't hit anyone just raised it in frustration) then tried to lock himself in a room in the office because he was getting frustrated with colouring in (fine motor).

Here is a few bits from the 3 page letter that got sent home that has given me more of an incentive to make some changes.

1. Callum has been advised to contact (deputy principal) on (phone number) to arrange an interview to assist his successful re-entry to school.  Last time I checked he is 7 how the hell is he going to arrange an appointment he doesn't even understand that he is being suspended.

2. In making my decision, I have considered that you have been made aware of expectations in the schools Responsible Behaviour Plan for Students.  Yeah not too sure about that one I just asked him and he doesn't know what "expectations" means. 

3. Whilst in the Principal's office you demonstrated unsafe behaviours by open and slamming windows, pushing chairs over and tearing labels off the filing cabinet.  Labels really??? paper cut?

There are a few other things in there that sound ridiculous but can't be bothered writing.  I'm half tempted to scan the letter and you can all read it for yourself.

I am in no way saying that he is an angel.  I'm his mother, I know he isn't an angel.  But they need to work out a better support plan for him so it isn't such an explosion when his work gets too much for him.  Once again this year, I didn't know what class he was going to be in until a couple of days before, and had no idea where his classroom was, or who his teacher is.  HOW CAN I ATTEMPT TO TRANSITION MY CHILD??? 

Hence the reason for change.  I need someone who knows the strategies to guide him through the hard stuff.  He is an awesome reader but his writing skills are seriously lacking.  We are still at the not being able to play in the playground stage so he isn't building his social skills anywhere near as much as what he should.  Basically he needs support that can "figure him out" so to speak.  Apparently his support at the school he is at will drop a lot once he finishes grade 3.  Is he cured?

Tomorrow we have an interview with a new school.  It is out of our catchment area for schooling but I'm going to try my darn hardest to try and get him in there.  The specialist school I want to send him to doesn't have any spots until term 4 for him.  I have gotten a referral for a child psychologist to help him work through how he deals with frustration.  I'm tempted to also ring DSQ but the probability of them being as useless as last time is highly probable.  Lots of empty promises.

Next week will be better I'm determined.... Well it better be or I will surely be ripping my hair out!!!

Another long road ahead....

I know it has been a super long time since I have posted but until now not a lot has been happening.  Patty has gone back out to work after having 3 months at home and so I am just getting back into the swing of doing things on my own.  The twins haven't been settling too well without dad around.  To say they are driving me mental is putting it nicely lol.  But I will survive as per usual with a much needed day off on Saturday with my dad coming over to watch them while I help mum out with a marketstall. 

Callum has been on Ritalin while he is at school since May.  Things were going smoother for a while there until recently.... I'm starting to get "those" phone calls again to come and get him.  Yesterday it was at 2pm they called me to come and get him because he was walking around the oval because he was frustrated.  I wasn't impressed to say the least.  This kid has actually come a long way.  Before he used to just take off and try and come home.  But anyway today I made the conscious decision to stop giving it to him because if they are calling me again it obviously isn't working.  To my surprise there was no phone call.... plus he came down the stairs on his own to meet me (usually if he isn't having a good afternoon he goes to the SEC and is escorted back up).  So yesterday afternoon was slightly hellish for me. Up until he went to bed it was meltdown after meltdown and I had that horrid feeling of wanting to curl up into a ball and lock myself in my room so I didn't have to deal with it.  But I woke up this morning and today was a brand new day.

Now to my next topic hence the name of this post "Another long road ahead".  Our youngest Noah had his first Paediatric appointment on Monday and surprise surprise he has been diagnosed with Autistic Disorder.  I had a bit of a moment that I never had when Callum was diagnosed and I cried.  This is my baby and I felt like a failure.  With Callum it was very evident and 100% all the signs were there and was just needing confirmation where with Noah a big part of me was just hoping it was sensory issues.  I was feeling ok the next morning after a long talk on the phone with his daycare mum Deb the night before because she wanted to know how it went.  I have already started filling out the paperwork for Autism Queensland and for the Autism Advisor.  I just need to wait for his diagnosis to be sent out in the mail.  So now over the next few weeks I have a lot of work to do before my baby starts Prep and the twins go into grade 2.  I wish they would stop growing up though cos time it going by way too fast!

By the way only 6 weeks until Christmas and I am one prepared Mumma!!!

To Pull Ones Finger Out

Odd name for a blog post hey..... got your attention though lol. I know I haven't been on in a while.  I've been dealing with some issues and finally "pulled my finger out" and have dealt with some of it.  Tonight will seem like I start off slightly negative but by the end of this post it will be somewhat more positive.  Actually totally freakin awesome because today I am proud as punch with my son.

So everyone knows the deal.  Callum is 6 and has Autism.  He has been doing half days at school all year because he has been too hard for his school to handle.  Mid May, Pat and I decided to put him on medication to help him focus more at school which has worked.  But, up until the end of term 2 and the first week of term 3 he was doing half days.  Thus if you work it out he has missed a whole term of school. For the first half of this year I have felt so alone (even though I have been surrounded by so many fabulous family and friends).  Had a lot of pity party moments (which I am seriously not a huge fan of), and was just getting the shits with everything in general and but didn't feel confident enough to do a whole lot about it.

Then on the second day of term 3 I got Callum's school report card.  He had on it an "E" for english and behaviour and the rest was an "N" which meant he couldn't be marked on it because he hadn't done the work or been at school long enough to do it.  After taking the night to think about how I was going to speak to someone at the school and gaining some form of rational composure like a mature adult would, the next day I went up and saw the Principal.  I felt so nervous like I was in school in trouble lol.  But this was a huge issue for me.  If his report card looked like this now, how was it going to look in a couple of years time? I explained to him that I felt that my son was slipping through the system and wasn't getting the education that he deserved because he was only going half days.  The conversation went on for quite a bit longer but for some reason I walked out of there for some reason feeling like I hadn't accomplished much.

How wrong was I?

The next week Callum was at school until 1.30pm for the week and then the next he started going full days.  I can tell you right now he is going absolutely fantastic.  A lot better than what anyone even myself thought he would go.  He is slowly catching up on work he missed and is now actually playing PE and loving it!

Now for the proud moment.  Today was junior assembly at school and I went along and watched my son get up on parade and receive 2 awards.  One for sports participation and the other for his school work. He has come such a long way in the last couple of weeks.  I am so glad I actually "pulled my finger out" and did the meeting with the school that I absolutely dreaded doing.  Way To GO Callum!!!

Calm Blue Ocean

Whoa what a month I am having.  I know I have been quiet over the last few weeks but soooooooooo much has been happening and I am totally exhausted.  Now where to start.  Oh yes I have self diagnosed myself with needing a holiday.  I'm worn out, my skin feels like crap, my hair feels like crap and my body is just telling me to sleep lol.  I am one worn out mumma!!!

Callum has decided that he doesn't need to go to sleep when he is told to.  Slightly frustrating for me as after 7.30pm this is MY TIME. Most parents do it.  It's the couple of hours before we go to bed where we can chill out and get things done that need to be done.  My son feels there is no need for this.  Last night he decided that he would eventually fall asleep at 10.30pm and that was only because I had had enough, turned all the lights out in the house and went to bed myself.  He was then slightly surprised when I woke him up at 6.30am when I got up.  Hopefully tonight he might be a little bit more understanding with going to bed earlier.  His sleeping pattern has become out of whack since the last school holidays but last night I was on the verge of losing my cool big time. 

A couple of weeks ago Callum had his paedeatric appointment and we made the huge decision to medicate him to help him with concentration levels at school.  Please don't feel that we have decided to take the easy way out as I felt like the biggest most horrible parent in the world when I first started giving it to him.  But alas.  School has gotten a lot easier for him to handle and he is actually doing more work than what he has been allocated.  He actually got an award for a great week at school last week.  I nearly cried.  It was the first week the whole year where I didn't hear "Callum did this" or "Callum did that".  One of the proudest moments I have had in a long time.  He is actually sitting at his desk and doing his work.  Interacting in class activities and doing what he's told.  His hours are slowly being extended at school and he is being transitioned into the next stages of what needs to happen.  I don't give it to him on weekends because it is purely to help him concentrate at school.

So Patty is halfway through a swing at work and I'm back to doing it on my own for a while. Me and the 3 munchkins. Thankfully the way his shifts are layed out he will be home for school holidays WHOOHOO!!!   I am off to do a market this weekend with the things I have been making so that will be a few hours break I get and Grandad will be watching them.  Poor grandad lol.  I hope he makes it out of my madhouse lol.

Don't judge anyone before you walk a mile in their shoes...

I am a Mum
I love my 3 beautiful kids
I love my husband
I love to sew
I love tattoos
I love to create
I love my Mum and Dad
I love my Brother and Sister
I love my Nieces and Nephews and all of my extended family
I love my friends
I lend a hand when it is needed
I live life with a smile even though quite a bit of the time that is not always how I feel
I have a husband who works away from home
I have a son with Autism
I love the way his mind works sometimes
I love the hugs and kisses I get from all 3 of the kids
I sometimes get a feeling of frustration
I sometimes wonder how long will it be before I get the much needed break I wish I could have
I wish I could be supermum
I wish someone could wave a magic wand and everything would be perfect
I wish that I could sometimes put myself before everyone else

You see that mum in the shopping centre.  She is the one with the kid who is fixated on something on the shelf and she can't get him to move.  The trip started off fantastic but over time with the fluro lights and the noise of a busy shopping centre, he starts to act out.  You sit there and think to youself oh my god I wish she would just slap that kid.  You don't know he has Autism.  He doesn't "Look" like he has Autism.  Sometimes all she probably wants is for someone to say "do you need a hand with anything?".

I used to be one of those people before I had Callum.  I was naive and had no idea what Autism was.  Now I understand.  Noone else will ever know what I go through because they aren't me.  Every single child is different.  Same as I will never know what any other parent really goes through. Our children experience different difficulties in life, different obsessions, have different triggers and view the world from a very different way to what we do.  I am at the beginning.  Cal is 6.  I have a looooooong way to go before the hardness really sets in which is teenagehood.  But at the end of the day every parent wants that feeling of accomplishment with their children.  He is going to need a lot of help throughout his schooling life and I know I have the patience to help him.  Why? Because I am his mum and it is my job to provide as much support for him as I can. 

I get down.  I have moments where I just wish the world would swallow me up and I can start all over again.  But I soldier on.  The meltdowns and the obsessions I am slowly getting used to but is still a never ending battle.  I really wish I knew what runs through his mind.  What he was thinking and how he processes things.  As harder work as he is and I know he will be,  I couldn't live without him.  Well to put it better no matter how shitty my day gets I couldn't live without any of them.

Ahhhhhhh I just don't care

Ever had one of those days where you wish you just didn't give a crap about anything? I'm having one of those days.  No seriously I am.  I got up at stupid o'clock, had a couple of cups of coffee,  relatively cleaned the house and did sweet nothing for the rest of the day.  Twins went to school, Noah went to daycare.  I had 2 and a half hours before Cal needed to be picked up.  Did some groceries, came home and did nothing.....

I had so much I had to do today but it felt good to not worry about anything. 

I had every intention of sewing together a cubby house for the kids to go over the kitchen table.  I haven't even picked out what fabric I am using yet or what is going to go on it.

Everyone deserves a lazy day.  Having say that my morning was somewhat constructive until about 8am lol.  A day to just chill out and not give a hoot about what anyone thinks or what you have to do for the day.  I successfully spent my day drinking coffee, playing games on facebook, doing a spot of shopping on one of my favorite websites aaaaand thats about all.

Why am I bragging about this?

Because it isn't very often I get to do this.

My life can be somewhat tiring and full of me being worried about everything.  Majority of the time I thrive on stress and it's nice to have a day where I just don't care.

Tomorrow however, will be a totally different story.  We are off to the park for the day! The kids will have a ball and Pat and I will be both exhausted by the time the day ends :)