Where has the year gone?

Can you believe it?  Less than two months until Christmas.  I am once again stuck in the dilemma of where the heck has this year gone?  Seriously.  My twins are 8 and my baby is 6 and next year I'm hitting the big 30.

This year has been hard.  Different challenges from last year I do admit.  Different things that have made me laugh, cry and be generally frustrated at.  I have become a stronger person this year.  Well I think so anyway lol.

I have gone from being a full time stay at home mum to working part time and starting my own business.  All the while juggling with a husband who works away and therapy appointments until they are coming out of my ears.

But you know what?  I love my kids and my husband, my job and my life.  My children have made me the strong person I am today.  Especially Callum.  He made me find a voice for him.  He made me realise that I can't give up when things get too hard.

This year I went from a son who was suspended twice at school at the start of the year, to a child who just received the Lioness Club Courage Award.  My other son had a severe fear of water being on his head and near his face and he has overcome both of those by actually letting me wash his hair without and argument and going for a swim.  My daughter is currently suffering through the horridness of anxiety.  We have worked out what is causing it and are working through it with her.  She is so strong willed and with the right support I know she will overcome it.

I have met new people this year who I have learned a hell of a lot from.  Most of them are parents who have kids on the spectrum and they are amazing.  We are all facing different journeys with our kids but it is surprising how much alike we are.  It is nice to have people who understand exactly what I'm going through or part there of.

There is about 7 weeks until school holidays.  It is time for me to start planning now so I have not ended up with cabin fever by the end of the 6 weeks!

Ciao for now
PS good luck with your Christmas shopping!!!

Here is my 3 happy kidlets from throughout the year

My daughter

Well what can I say it has been a while (I am pretty sure I have started the last few blog posts with that).  Today I'm not going to do a catch up.  I will leave that for next time.  Today I am going to write about my daughter Rhiannon.

Rhiannon or Reenie is Callum's twin sister.  She was born a whole 3 minutes later than him weighing in at 6 pounds 4 ounces.  She was a surprise.  She was meant to be a boy.  As you can imagine we had the whole place decked out with boy stuff but by the time I got home from hospital with them there was a whole lot of pink there. 

She was perfect.  They were perfect.  One boy and one girl.  A complete family.  When we brought them home it was a lot harder than I had imagined.  Pats boss was ever so kind as to give him 4 whole days off work to help me with the twins.  Luckily for me Callum was completely routine, every three hours.  Reenie on the other hand unfortunately she was slightly jaundiced so I had to wake her up every three hours for feeding and feeding her took 3/4 of an hour.  She was so easy as a baby.  I used to brag to everyone about how perfect my little angel girl was.

She hit every mile stone when she was meant to and I have never had a problem with her really until she started school.   It was like she brought home the attitude of every single kid in her prep class. By this time Callum had already been diagnosed so it was if he was already being given special treatment because he needed a little bit more help to get through the school day.  Over the last 3 years it seems as if she has some serious issues with resentment towards her brother.  It has been getting worse and worse as time goes on.  I understand to an extent.  I completely do.  I have a brother with a disability.  I know remember how much of mum and dads time he got when we were growing up.  I don't hold a grudge against him or anything like that trust me.  He's my brother and it is my job as his sister to help him as well.

They fight like siblings but sometimes she rubs it in his face that he has Autism.  It makes me sad that it seems like she is turning into a "Mean Girl".  Her temper tantrums that she throws are out of this world.  She will make me or break me that kid.  In all honesty as much as I love her to death both her brothers put together are easier to handle than her.  I never knew girls were such high maintenance!!!

 Tempted to make my kids one of these lol

I make an effort to do mummy/daughter days so she can spend some time with just me without her brothers.   But in all honesty she makes me feel like it isn't enough.  Actually she tells me.   She was doing gymnastics (it stopped due to attitudinal problems).  I try and I try and I get tired.  Many of times I have been on the phone to Pat or one of my friends in tears with the way she speaks to me. 

She really got to me tonight.  All because I wanted her to pick her stuff up (I know I'm the nastiest mother in the world).  She had a temper tantrum and got screamed at.  I ended up in tears.  I was getting so angry on the inside that it was just easier to cry because it is better than completely losing it.

Tomorrow is a new day.... I just want one good day.... they are getting far and few between it feels of late.

Yeah you wouldn't think butter would melt in her mouth looking at her would you lol

So far so good

It has been a while since I have blogged.  Which is kind of good because it means that I will actually have stuff to write about.  Last time I wrote it was about my disaster of Master Cal getting suspended.  He actually got suspended twice within a week and a bit.  So that was my shit start to the year and it has actually gotten better for once.

I have found an Occupational Therapist for him and OMG she is an angel.  She is one of the most brilliant people that I have met and I'm not sure how she gets him to do EVERYTHING in his session but she does.  Finally we have found something that resembles a little miracle.  His pencil skills are starting to get better and he isn't getting as frustrated.

I had his parent teacher interview over the phone at the end of last term to.  I am so far wanting to put in a request for him to have the same teacher next year.  I have on my hands a teacher who gets my kid.  She has dealt for a long time with children with disabilities and throughout our whole conversation she didn't say one bad thing about my son.  Totally awesome feeling considering all I heard last year is "he's just being a naughty little kid".

Also this Easter break we went up to Bundy for a few days to catch up with friends and family we have up there.  I was half tempted not to come home it was so nice and peaceful up there.  I was so worried about how Callum especially was going to react because it was totally out of routine and it was our first family holiday anywhere.  We had a fantastic week and for sure will be planning on going away more.  I started out more anxious than all of us but started to chill out once we were settled in our "holiday house".

So he was back at school today and his teacher told me this afternoon he had an awesome day so here is to plenty more where they came from!!!

Time for change

Grab your popcorn and a comfy seat because this is going to be a bit of a long one.  I haven't written a blog for a while so we have some catching up to do.  So we all know about Callum and the ins and outs of what I went through last year.  We are starting a repeat. It wasn't as bad until yesterday but still it is going to be a total repeat of last year.

He is now in year 2 and had a fantastic start to the year.  It couldn't have been better.  Something over the last few days has happened.  I'm not sure what and I'm not sure why but I now have a 7 year old home suspended from school.  He has no idea why he isn't allowed back at school and was quite upset when I told him he couldn't go.  Yet apparently he knows fully what is expected of him at school.  This is going to be a bit of a rant so if you don't want to read me bitching stop now.....

Tuesday I got a phone call.  He had walked out of the classroom and locked himself in the boys toilets.  Noone knew why and he wouldn't speak to anyone.  So he was brought home.  Later that evening he finally after many hours of me asking the same thing over and over again he told me.  He was having trouble writing his letters and was upset he couldn't do it so he walked out and tried to hide (this is his coping mechanism and now I really wish it was just back to hiding under the desk like he used to).  He was really upset.  He needs more work with his fine motor skills so I am currently trying to get him in to see an Occupational Therapist.

Yesterday I get a phone call.  All I got simply was can you come up and get him now.  Not saying what he had done or if he was ok.  Hubby was already near the school so he went and got him.  Please take note here that any form of work that involves fine motor skills (eg writing and drawing) can be a trigger for him to start acting out.  His school knows this.  So Pat brings him home and informs me that he had been suspended.  He raised his fist at a teacher aide and the deputy principal (didn't hit anyone just raised it in frustration) then tried to lock himself in a room in the office because he was getting frustrated with colouring in (fine motor).

Here is a few bits from the 3 page letter that got sent home that has given me more of an incentive to make some changes.

1. Callum has been advised to contact (deputy principal) on (phone number) to arrange an interview to assist his successful re-entry to school.  Last time I checked he is 7 how the hell is he going to arrange an appointment he doesn't even understand that he is being suspended.

2. In making my decision, I have considered that you have been made aware of expectations in the schools Responsible Behaviour Plan for Students.  Yeah not too sure about that one I just asked him and he doesn't know what "expectations" means. 

3. Whilst in the Principal's office you demonstrated unsafe behaviours by open and slamming windows, pushing chairs over and tearing labels off the filing cabinet.  Labels really??? paper cut?

There are a few other things in there that sound ridiculous but can't be bothered writing.  I'm half tempted to scan the letter and you can all read it for yourself.

I am in no way saying that he is an angel.  I'm his mother, I know he isn't an angel.  But they need to work out a better support plan for him so it isn't such an explosion when his work gets too much for him.  Once again this year, I didn't know what class he was going to be in until a couple of days before, and had no idea where his classroom was, or who his teacher is.  HOW CAN I ATTEMPT TO TRANSITION MY CHILD??? 

Hence the reason for change.  I need someone who knows the strategies to guide him through the hard stuff.  He is an awesome reader but his writing skills are seriously lacking.  We are still at the not being able to play in the playground stage so he isn't building his social skills anywhere near as much as what he should.  Basically he needs support that can "figure him out" so to speak.  Apparently his support at the school he is at will drop a lot once he finishes grade 3.  Is he cured?

Tomorrow we have an interview with a new school.  It is out of our catchment area for schooling but I'm going to try my darn hardest to try and get him in there.  The specialist school I want to send him to doesn't have any spots until term 4 for him.  I have gotten a referral for a child psychologist to help him work through how he deals with frustration.  I'm tempted to also ring DSQ but the probability of them being as useless as last time is highly probable.  Lots of empty promises.

Next week will be better I'm determined.... Well it better be or I will surely be ripping my hair out!!!